there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Vodka?
Forever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
