I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
