Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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