He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
