Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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