We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize