he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
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Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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