what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
