I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
