In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
