It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
