margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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