is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
