he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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