In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
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My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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