never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
