coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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