new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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