just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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