FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
