Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
