I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
