Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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