Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
