Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit