That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him