Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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