i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.