I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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