You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
