I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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