i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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