There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
