Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
