Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
don't judge my taste in strippers
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
