just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
