her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize