SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
