the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
