i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
