normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
