Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
