I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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