Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
