So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
