he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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