Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
