Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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