3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
