I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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