I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
