of course. lets lasso hookers.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The air was thick with penises
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
