Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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