Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
