did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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