What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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