Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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