i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
