haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
3 2 1 whiskey
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
