the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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