I bet he comes in French.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
