imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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