Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
