You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I showed him my bush... on skype.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
