we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
