I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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