Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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